So, here they are. The latest jar of commercially produced Marmite to hit our screens since One Direction left puberty. Most locals think less of them than the ‘renaming’ of St. James, students either ask why they are allowed to share the same air supply or try tashin’ on with them in Koos. Either way it’s fair to say; they aren’t quite everyone’s cup of tea. Or even favourite treble mixer.
Although, they’re memorable to say the least. Despite how Wills might have a photo of Charlotte from Heat magazine blu tacked to his bedroom mirror, I’d given up after a couple of episodes. However, it was easy to reacquaint myself with the Gaz-and-Charlotte, Vicky-and-Jay, scenerios, the blowjobs-which-weren’t-actually-blowjobs, and, of course, their excessive tanning regimes.
For those of you that don’t know, the ‘original’ cast have been slightly reformed anyway. Greg is no more, (not surprisingly, from what we heard) and there are two new additions to the bunch, Rebecca Walker and hairdresser-in-a-previous life and actually-from-Durham Ricci Guarnaccio.
The house has been relocated too. Away they’ve flown (or been flung) from the nearby and close-to-our-hearts Robinson library to a Business Park in Wallsend.
Distinctly more ‘Big Brother esque’, the intentions of its interior are clear: someone is always watching. Or, if not, listening.
Jay: “It’s all open plan. You can hear everything that’s going on. Everything. So whatever’s happening you can not get away from it.” Making it quite clear exactly what he meant by ‘everything’.
Gaz: “In the old house you’d just go on the third floor and you were by yourself.”
James: “I don’t think I had a proper nights sleep the whole time I was there. All you can hear is the girls shouting. Charlotte especially with her loud voice…every morning: “ah noo”
This source of noise disturbance isn’t surprising, considering Charlotte’s take on the new living arrangements: “The house is like a massive playground.”
Vicky: “When one person in the house wakes up, everyone wakes up. So shit normally kicks off with the last person that went to bed.”
I mean, you wouldn’t think the producers would want to encourage arguments now, would you.
Although, given that we interviewed the boys and girls separately, and at one point Vicky inscribed ‘FUCK OFF’ on a sheet of paper to hold up to the lads on the other side of the room, you might say these producers had done their job a bit too well.
So, to further that, given how in the last series there wasn’t single episode in which someone didn’t wanted to murder someone else, or at least want to take their eye out, were things to change this time around?
In short, apparently not.
Charlotte: “There was one point where it was like two tribes going to war. All the girls were doing tribal things and that.” (Starts banging on the table with her fists).
Although, despite getting the sense from the girls that it was just the boys’ actions and behaviour in general that caused so much trouble, the boys were quite certain they knew the root of the problem:
Ricci: “It’s when everyone gets drunk really. We are living under the same roof 24/7.”
Gaz: “It’s just like living in a student house and there’s four boys and four girls, you’re always going to argue. It’s not like we can escape and go down Osbourne Road, you’ve got no phone, no internet, no telly, no nothing.
And, to the problem more specifically:
Gaz: “When I bring a girl back, in my head I’m thinking ‘I cannot be arsed with the shit when I get back to the house. I genuinely think that.”
Jay: “When lads bring a lass back to the house they don’t invite them in. They’ll find some way to grief them, they’ll not talk to them no matter what.”
The girls weren’t too happy when we told them about this (cue Vicky’s sign).
Vicky: “Oh fuck off !”
Charlotte: “Its not like they didn’t have a problem when we brought back lads in Magaluf.”
Vicky: “You guys didn’t see the half of it.”
Charlotte: “Gary wiped his arse with our toothbrushes. It couldn’t get shown it was that bad.”
Charlotte and Vicky share a laugh about their antics on the show. Photography: Moises Bedrossian
Vicky: “The people filming us who saw it had to put up a sign saying, ‘Please don’t use your toothbrushes…they have been tampered with’. He was throwing clothes around, he smashed Sophie’s MAC make up. I lost loads of clothes.
“Sometimes we feel that they [the lads] don’t treat us with much respect. But that is because they don’t .This series you’ll see us getting on. Lots of relationships and friendships are being made, then they just go and piss on it in a disrespectful and dramatic way.
“They bring girls back, they take girls for meals without us (like in the first series). I think that in this series they take it a step further…but you can be the judge of that. The lads think they take the moral high ground, so we just let them get on with it.
“They say ‘we don’t bring girls back because we are trying to be respectful because you cry and hate it’. Well lads, in Magaluf yous were the ones who cried and argued.”
“There were tears, they just didn’t show it. Greg cried , he slagged us off for an hour and MTV had to remove the footage because it was so malicious.”
Charlotte: “We just get on with it and deal with it, but they [the guys] do actions.”
Rebecca: “We make a joke and they can’t take it. Remember the hot tub?”
Vicky: “Watch out for the hot tub. You’ll know what I mean when you see it.”
The relationship between each sex has always been tenuous. Even though the main conflict in the first episode of series two is amongst the girls, there is still friction between each side.
Rebecca: “The girls go out and enjoy themselves amongst each other. Whereas if the lads don’t pull, then they don’t enjoy themselves.
Although, if the boys are to be believed, not pulling is a rare occurrence:
Gaz: “Girls will pretty much offer you it on a plate. You’ll get one you have to work for once about every three month.”
Vicky: “Gaz is the worst. If Gaz doesn’t pull then there is hell. Actually, if Gaz doesn’t pull there is Charlotte.”
Charlotte: “That is very true. Gary and me aren’t friends…we aren’t speaking.”
Gaz: “There’s a lot more banter with people in the house. In the first one we had all these little groups. Everyone just connected a lot more in this one.
“I’m not saying I don’t get with Charlotte, because I do. But its more relaxed rather than ‘what’s happening with this relationship and what’s happening with this relationship.”
That cleared up, we also enquired as to whether we could expect more between Vicky and Jay.
Vicky: “You can expect more things with Jay, it goes down an interesting route you probably wouldn’t expect mine and Jay’s friendship to go down. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t getting any action.”
Charlotte: “Ooo. That’s a good answer.”
Vicky: “Do you like how mysterious that was. That’s how I role, don’t give much away but still get people excited.”
The first series was crammed with gossip and some may think it would be hard to beat the carnage than ensued. However they had a different view on what to expect in the second series.
New cast-member Rebecca stirred up the dynamics of the house when she moved in. Photography: Moises Bedrossian
Vicky: “What can’t you expect from the girls in the second series”
Charlotte: “Fights. Sex. Alcohol.”
Vicky: “Altercations… what you can expect from the second series is what happened in the first series…times ten. It’s faster pace, there are new characters and there are more shake-ups. You will be taken by surprise. We both thought before the series [Vicky and Charlotte] ‘We don’t understand what we can do to make it better. We thought it would just be the same as last time like I’ll have an argument, Charlotte will get with Gaz.”
Charlotte: “But we were lying in bed and were like ‘Wow… fuck me, how is this all happened?”
James: “It’s just like series one, but worse. Not worse but better if you know what I mean. It’s a lot funnier as well, it’s less serious. Just going out every night with a new house and new people”
They started as barmen and call centre workers and their role in the series has changed their lives completely. Since the first series they have done modelling shoots, made TV appearances, travelled the world, and have even released their own Kebab scented perfume ‘L’eau De Geordie’.
James: “It’s crazy like. It’s mad. I’m off to Australia on Friday. I can’t wait to get mortal over there like.
“I find it hard to go on a normal night out now. It’s a bit stressful innit. I went out for a meal and I ended up going out after and everyone was hassling me. The lass I was with was fad jealous like.”
Gaz: “Me and Charlotte went to Australia and when we landed it was like…(makes noises of people taking photos)…it’s massive over there. If I go shopping I’ll put a hat on because there’s sixteen year olds that just follow you around.”
James: “People just follow you. I had to buy a hat.”
However, there has also been a lot of negative publicity in the region surrounding the show. Many people on Tyneside say that it is giving its citizens a bad reputation around the country and making a mockery out of the city. MP for Newcastle Chi Onwurah even took the issues to the House of Commons describing it as “bordering on pornographic”. And what do they think of this negative attention?
Vicky: “They should fucking turn off. They don’t have to watch it do they.
“People’s main problem with it, particularly people native to this region, is the name.”
Rebecca: “People do it all over the place. Just because our lives are being documented for eight weeks, people don’t like it.”
James: “I think TV would be boring like. I think it’s a bit daft. It’s MTV’s best show for a reason isn’t it? People enjoy watching it. People think we’re representing Newcastle in a bad way when really we’re not we’re just representing ourselves.”
Jay: “All these people watch it thinking my son and daughter don’t do that. You know what I was watching the other night. Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents. You just don’t know you’re son and daughter are doing it. Everyone’s doing it just parents choose to ignore it.”
Gaz: “If you go out on a night out and wake up and think ‘what happened last night. Its like that but just imagine watching it on TV, with millions of other people watching it. Everyone can relate to getting pissed. Newcastle has been busy every weekend for a reason hasn’t it.”
So, love them or hate them you’re going to have to get used to them, as it looks like they’re not planning on budging anytime soon.
The first episode of series two saw the cast reunited. Gaz and Charlotte continue their antics, whilst Vicky makes her opinion of new cast-member Rebecca known.
Geordie Shore is broadcast tuesdays at 10pm on MTV
